Once again, I’m back at participating in the Daily Post I have always tried to live my life being open with those around me. Here’s why:

Secrets are heavy: I can’t begin to put into words how many sleepless nights I’ve had wondering how someone might react to something that has happened in my life. While this mostly occurred in my barely post high school years, I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t occurred at all during my more enlightened years of coming-into-my-own-adulthood. There is so much sorrow in being tied down to a history unspoken. It’s so freeing to be able to wipe away the dirt with a fresh dose of truth.

You take the power away: There will ALWAYS be someone with biting criticism, no matter how open or closed off you choose to be. Someone is always there to offer some bit of sanctimonious advice that screams “I’m so much better than you, rookie.” I prefer to lay all of my cards on the table because it takes the power away. Oh, I’m too emotional? You know, you’re exactly right. I’ve made major mistakes in my marriage? Yes, that’s true too. I’m mentally ill? Why, yes…can’t say that I’m not. By being open about my life and my journey, I have stepped up with the recognition that I make mistakes, I accept myself and love myself in spite of my history, and I’m not afraid of the judgement I may receive because of my mistakes.

True to self: In any given situation, I’m trying my best to relate to the person I’m conversing with. I try to seek out any common ground that might make the conversation flow easier. It’s an exhausting existence at times, but very worth it in my opinion. If I can make a connection with someone (even if that means sharing something deep and sometimes embarrassing about myself), then I will. It’s who I am. Fighting it isn’t worth it–reference section “Secrets are heavy”.

People are trustworthy: I’ve had to teach myself that people are worth trusting. There have been quite a few people in my life that have given me every reason NOT to trust people. People suck sometimes, for lack of better words. For every untrustworthy person that has taken pleasure in my pain, for every person that has mocked my existence, for every person that has discredited the part of my journey that I have shared, there have been five people that have made being open worth my while. There are people out there, willing to really hear you, to cry for you and with you, and to rejoice in your successes. Don’t let a few bad apples dictate your relationships with other, more trustworthy individuals.

True Connection: I have dealt with some of the most challenging times in my life solo. That wasn’t because other people weren’t willing to be there for me. It was because I wasn’t willing to open up to others about what I was going through. There is always a fear of judgement, but it extends far beyond that. What if people can’t handle me when I’m exposing myself in my most vulnerable state? However, I’ve found my most deeply fulfilling relationships have come at the tail end of some of the ugliest times in my life. I think we’re all searching for someone to connect with, someone to be real with. In a selfie and hashtag filled world, there is something sacred about midnight talks and mutual understanding.

-wide open

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